Will I Ever Get It Right?

Do you wonder if you’ll ever get it right?

Does it feel like life is just not working out for you?

Some days, do you hold your breath and wait for whatever is going to go wrong?

Have you thought about throwing up your hands and giving up on life working out for you?

Has someone hurt you by the gossip they’ve spread, or the lies they’ve told, or by stabbing you in the back while smiling to your face?

In those moments when you’re alone, when maybe the tears are flowing, when your mind is reeling about all that’s gone wrong, do you question where God, who is supposed to love you, is and if he cares.

The old gospel song says,

“Yes, he cares, I know he cares,

His heart is touched with my grief

When the days are weary

The long nights dreary

I know my Savior cares.”

But does he? Really? If he cares, why does it feel like other people always get the breaks in life, while you struggle and do your best and it just doesn’t work out? It can feel like there is a cloud, some days darker than others, but always a cloud that hangs over you and keeps you from being happy, from feeling like you’ve accomplished something, from feeling like your life has no purpose but to be used by others.

“Look down from heaven and see,

from your holy and glorious habitation.

Where are your zeal and your might?

The yearning of your heart and your compassion?

They are withheld from me.” (Isaiah 63:15)

See, you’re not the only one who has felt like God has forsaken you, left you, doesn’t care about you, is withholding his blessings from you. The prophet knew how you feel; he just said so in that verse.

People judge you.

They judge you harshly.

Mistakes you’ve made.

Bad choices you’ve made.

Sins you’ve committed.

Are all put on full display by those who talk about you, who show you no grace or mercy.

Where is God? If God forgives by our faith in his Son Jesus the Messiah, why doesn’t he stop others from their harsh judgments, their biting words, and their relentless put downs, and back stabs?

Those things that make you feel like a failure never seem to stop. Every day brings something else, or someone else, to remind you how worthless you really are. Some days your feel like the only thing useful about you is to be used by others. There may be times when you feel like a proverbial punching bag and the emotional, and heart breaking blows just keep coming, and coming, and coming. Where is God? Why does he allow others to treat you like you’re worthless, meaningless, and have no use other than to be used?

Not every day, but some days, you wonder…

“Why did I not die at birth,

come forth from the womb and expire?” (Job 3:11)

So the resentment builds, the bitterness begins to grow, the anger is always seething beneath the surface.

Sometimes you take it out on those who do love you, who try to be helpful, who reach out to you. And when you do, that feeling of worthlessness only grows as you ask yourself, “Why did I do that?”

Some days it all builds up and the yelling starts.

Some days it’s all too much and the tears won’t stop.

Some days you want to punch somebody.

Some days you just want someone to hold you, hug you, reassure you.

Some days you wish you could get it together, because it feels like it’s all falling apart.

“O that you would tear open the heavens

and come down,

so that the mountains would quake at your presence—

as when fire kindles brushwood

and the fire causes water to boil—

to make your name known to your adversaries,

so that the nations might tremble at your presence!” (Isaiah 64:1-2)

Where is God? Why doesn’t he “come down” and help me? Why must I always feel so forsaken? When will life ever work out for me?

“Yet, O Lord, you are our Father:

we are the clay, and you are our potter;

we are all the work of your hand.” (Isaiah 64:8)

As the late great Yankee catcher Yogi Berra said:

“It ain’t over till it’s over.”